So Nibbles passed away not long ago...only about 30 minutes. These last 3 or 4 days have been pretty rough on her, so the one part of me is glad she's gone. It wasn't as peaceful as I had hoped it would be, but at least I could be there for her when she did. Instead of waking up to her dead in her cage and having to go through what she did alone. Happy she toughed it out long enough for me to get home.

The selfish side of me is upset she's gone. That part of me doesn't want her to be dead...I still want her here. But that would be cruel.

I don't want to bury her, she's in a box in front of me right now, I have to wait to get a shovel from my dad when he gets home. Which should be anytime now. But...I just hate the thought of burying them. I don't even want to close the lid on the little box, 'cause then she's really gone...Right now she's still "here". Visibly at least. Ugh...

The more I think about how I'm okay with it...the more I cry and realize I'm really not. It's really gonna bother me once she's been buried.

It's even more upsetting when people just say "oh I'm sorry" then act like everything's fine, just cause she's a gerbil. Well guess what, everything's NOT fine. Not with me. I don't feel like "loling" or anything of that sort. It's no different if their dog, cat, horse or whatever other animal died and they were really upset. She was my friend, and I'm gonna miss her.

I'm happy she's in a better place and not in pain anymore.

Bye Nibbles, see you later <3